Will Tango For Tulips

Every time I take a piss in a public urinal, I always seem to notice how people position themselves for the urination. Some seem to be almost standing in the urinal. What’s up with that? It seems like it would splash a hell of a lot. Plus, it probably quadruples the chance of coming into contact with public urinal germs. which are pretty brutal. I wonder how these guys function at home. Cause it’s really hard to get close to to an actual toilet. Unless they maybe aim straight down? Or perhaps they sit on the tank and piss from there. This will be a mystery to me. Because you can tell a lot from a person by how they piss into a public urinal. And i dont associate with any of the extremists. The second group, is the fellows that stand like 2+ feet back from the urinal. This isn’t the long shot competition, tiger. Step up to the plate and take a piss. It’s rather annoying, because they tend to crowd the walking space in more cramped public restrooms. Mother fuckers. And I wonder what the hell they do at home. stand in the tub and piss from there? or maybe they stand down the hall and try to use their pinpoint pissing accuracy. Maybe they should make the urination olympics for these people. And then theres the more conservative group. Not too far, and not to close. The fucking goldie locks of stances. Just right. This is a good group to be in. We feel no need to show off our accuracy or distance. No need to climb into the urinal to take a piss. Just a nice foot or so back and relieve ourselves. We have nothing to prove to the other two factions. We just do our thing and get out. ‘Cause that’s all it’s about. Dont be an extremist. Urinate in a practical manner and we can all get along.